During a time of year when we can become nearly consumed with consumerism and all the buying of things to show our love—to others and ourselves—perhaps it may seem odd that I’m recommending you focus on you.
The key part is the IN. Focus In = inward, On You.
When our internal guide, our intuition, is leading we can begin to be at choice around the well-promoted and executed external concerns of the holiday season: the size and quantity of our gifts, the pressure to be and say and wear just the right thing in our social engagements, and the wanting to make sure everyone is happy with our choices. With our intuition guiding, we can begin to be enough and be good enough just the way we are. Spending time inside ourselves we can find, and create, the love and acceptance we desire from our own caring hearts.
This is the greatest gift we could possibly give ourselves, and others.
I’m not suggesting it is a piece of cake, this peaceful internal focus, although I wish it were. The impact of the holiday marketing plan—go into any store and the “buy more to be a star in the eyes of your loved ones and peers”—really can get to you, to me.
I started off this holiday thinking I would pot sweet and beautiful indoor plants for each of my family and friends I share gifts with during the season (this was an amazing suggestion from Patty Dobrowoiski, and something I enjoyed receiving from a close friend a couple years back). And then I went to a dear colleague’s artist studio sale, Terrell Lozada, and fell in love with her stunning creations, ceramics and paintings, all beautiful and expressive and brilliantly crafted. I decided I wanted to share these instead and felt good about it. Over the last couple days though, entering into a couple stores, or more, wanting to feel part of the holiday buzz and cheer, I started to feel like maybe this wasn’t enough, and I started to get a few other “small” things to add to what was already a lovely expression of my appreciation… because I usually give more. Have you experienced this type of gift buying add-on impulse?
© 2015, Terrell Lozada, Laddered, Maiolica, 10.5 x 12.75 x 1.5 inches.
Oh these external habits! They drive me crazy sometimes—especially when I get wise to them and still find myself repeating their offense.
My intuition decides to give its perspective:
You are not these things. Your greatest gift is the authentic expression of your caring heart in connection with another.
RIght, I reply.
And I remember, again. I am able to give this greatest of gifts to someone else… the authentic expression of my caring heart… when I am able to give it to myself. When I slow down and focus inward, feel my body and my emotions, entertain wise, nurturing discussions with myself, then I am equip to make different choices that support the way I want to be in the world, one relationship at a time.
I am learning a new program in my body and brain, we all are, for how to choose to show love and appreciation. Sometimes this means going against my habit brain, feeling the fear that arises of not doing what has been expected of me in the past, and finding trust that I will be okay, more than okay, doing it in this new way that is light and loving, and in integrity.
If you find yourself feeling frenzied with all of the external holiday expectations, rather than work harder for motivation to get through and get it done right, try taking a pause with a deep breath. Close your eyes and go in, just for a moment. Listen closely to your heart’s desire for you. It will tell you how to love, honor and respect yourself, and demonstrate your care and affection this holiday season. From here, you get to decide if you want to follow.
to Living Sensual!
Live in Love with Life